Thursday, November 18, 2010

Everything's aight

Yay. Besides the new managers at work being TOTALLY psycho, meh... xD Can't complain.

Although I WOULD like full-time at work D:< gnnrrr

Friday, October 22, 2010

Something still..

...isn't quite right. While my mother has gotten a job, I still feel antsy. I feel like I can't discuss it with anyone because anyone I know in person would not understand? I don't know how to feel... All I know for sure is that I have to keep working at least 5 days a week in order to get rent together. It'll be the only thing that will keep me sane.

So what about now - when you feel like something is wrong, and you know it's wrong... even when you don't know how to explain it either? That while you try to grow and try to understand yourself more, as to what makes you the person you are.. and people don't get you either?

Maybe trying to rectify old ties really is pointless. Rho, I miss you honey, but you don't even call me anymore, and it's hurting. At least just tell me you're okay - and reply to my letters.

It's beginning to come to the point where I think I just need a break... and a break is simple what I can't afford at the time. I wonder when things will be alright again - even if I try to make amends, try to reach out to people. I don't understand.

Damien - thanks for fucking me up, seriously. When my parents split 11 years ago, I should have chose mum to live with. I at least would have been more social, would understand people - I would have completed highschool and I would most likely have my dream job.

I just felt the need to rant here. And no one's there.. so. Aren't these things used for this kind of thing? I hate feeling this way. I hate being stressed. :(

Monday, October 11, 2010

In need of change right now.

So.. I've moved in with my mother now, as of the end of August. Things are not all right. My mother is jobless, my sister doesn't work and it's just basically me, bringing home the bacon, as it were to say.

Unfortunately it leaves me with little time to even think nowadays. I'm short-tempered, completely exhausted and with every other word that happens to fall out of my mouth I tend to say the wrong thing. I'm seriously looking at my life and while I'm not depressed - things are REALLY hard right now.
The fact is that we're dirt poor and living off a part-timer (with full-timer's hours)'s salary - three person family, coupled with a 1250$ monthly rent.

I'm so stressed out. I don't even want to talk about work. I want them all just to blend together, hoping that one day soon mum finds a job so I can finally fucking relax. Every night I can't seem to sleep enough - even if I go to bed at 20h - and there is no other thought in my mind other than 'need to make money'.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Got my new laptop

...and giving my netbook to my mum, cuz her laptop has vista on it and she hates it. XDDDD I just have to delete all history and data on it. If she finds any yaoi crap on there, I will get odd looks for YEARS XDDDDD

So yeah, my new laptop kicks ass ;-; It has 4GB RAM & 500GB harddrive space and it runs on windows 7. The only thing I couldn't get used to for the longest time is there is no quickbar. So I had to mod the taskbar to stop those stupid thumbnail previews (regedit'd it :'D) and create my own quick-launch bar.

So now, I can livestream my entire screen without it lagging to hell ;-;

Saturday, May 15, 2010

A MISCONCEPTION.

So regarding the process of Cart Cart Revolution and the breakdown:

1. BellaRoi is the writer
2. BellaRoi is the scriptor
3. BellaRoi is the drafter (panel placement and general idea movements EX: page 6 drafted)
4. I do the line-art
5. BellaRoi colours
6. BellaRoi adds speech bubbles and sfx, etc.
7. BellaRoi uploads to smackjeeves.

D8 So uh... don't call it just my webcomic. xD cuz it's mostly hers <3 <3 <3

Saturday, May 8, 2010

I keep forgetting I have this thing D:

Probably cuz I'm not a drama-llama and don't really vent my anger anywhere unless I'm SUPER PISSED. XD

But I'm SUPER HAPPY. Wanna know why? - All of next week is a vacation for me! :D I don't get paid and will have to go hungry a little or sacrifice being late on my bills a bit for it - but you know? I'm fucking tired of working and just need to relax. There was no 'downtime' after Christmas rush in our store and it's been more than useless me having only one day off here and there. So I asked my manager to give me a week off or else I would do something I would regret like mouth-off to people or even quit. XD Cuz I'm like that when I'm stressed out.. "orz

Anyway, will be working on Cart Cart Revolution for the majority of the break which makes me happy. Working on something for 8 consecutive hours makes me feel like I've actually accomplished something instead of working slowly over the week like 3-4 hours a shot. Plus ADD time because I need mini breaks or else my hand gets all jittery and I can't draw worth shit. XD

Also I want a new laptop. Like SRSLY. This one's network card, graphics card and screen are all shot. It's just on borrowed time right now... I think I might be able to get a new one this summer because I just recently got a raise at work O_O
Wheee~

And so off I go to play some Ragnarok Online. XD Cuz I need one of those breaks...

Friday, April 2, 2010

She can get it, sh-sh-she ge-ge--et it~~

8D Kevin Rudolf is possibly the gayest sounding hot voice ever 8D And his songs are catchy - not annoying like Mika's.

Anyway, DA is not updated cuz I've been working on nothing but the webcomic in my spare time. 8D Also, working is a pain, since everyone's calling in sick. Hay Winners, why not hire something BESIDES fucking students who don't have all that time to do ANYTHING D:
Or how about hiring some men I only have like 3 guys to look at @ work 2 out of the 3 are taken asdasfsd

In any case, I have profound respect for those artists who can maintain updating their webcomics more than once a week D:>

Cart Cart Revolution!!